by Divorce & Custody Attorney in Lee's Summit Kirby Minor:

Missouri law (§ 452.375.2, RSMo) requires courts to determine custody and parenting time based on the best interests of the child, using these eight specific factors (plus any other relevant circumstances). In Jackson County family court, judges and Guardians ad Litem (GALs) weigh these factors carefully when deciding temporary orders, final custody, modifications, and enforcement actions.Over the coming posts, we’ll examine each factor through the lens of history’s greatest strategy minds — Sun Tzu, Musashi, Sun Bin, Lao Tzu, Takuan Sōhō, Yagyū Munenori, the Tengu, and others from the warrior-philosophy tradition. Each sage brings a unique tactical and mental approach to making the court see that particular factor in your favor.

The 8 Factors (§ 452.375.2)

1. The wishes of the child’s parents as to custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parties.

2. The needs of the child for a frequent, continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents and the ability and willingness of parents to actively perform their functions as mother and father for the needs of the child.

3. The interaction and interrelationship of the child with parents, siblings, and any other person who may significantly affect the child’s best interests.

4. Which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent, continuing and meaningful contact with the other parent.

5. The child’s adjustment to the child’s home, school, and community. The fact that a parent sends his or her child or children to a home school or FPE school shall not be the sole factor that a court considers in determining custody of such child or children.

6. The mental and physical health of all individuals involved, including any history of abuse of any individuals involved. If the court finds that a pattern of domestic violence as defined in section 455.010 has occurred, and, if the court also finds that awarding custody to the abusive parent is in the best interest of the child, then the court shall enter written findings of fact and conclusions of law. Custody and visitation rights shall be ordered in a manner that best protects the child and any other child or children for whom the parent has custodial or visitation rights, and the parent or other family or household member who is the victim of domestic violence from any further harm.

7. The intention of either parent to relocate the principal residence of the child.

8. The unobstructed input of a child, free of coercion and manipulation, as to the child’s custodial arrangement.

   
   

Factor #1: “The wishes of the child’s parents as to custody and the proposed parenting plan submitted by both parties”

This factor seems straightforward — each parent tells the court what they want. In practice, it becomes one of the most strategic battlegrounds in Jackson County custody cases. How you present your wishes, how reasonable your proposed parenting plan appears, and how you handle the other parent’s wishes can set the tone for the entire case.

Sun Tzu – “Know the Enemy and Know Yourself”

Sun Tzu would treat this factor as reconnaissance. He wouldn’t just declare his wishes — he would study both sides deeply and position his plan as clearly superior.

Strategy: Present a detailed, child-centered parenting plan with specific schedules, holiday rotations, and communication rules. Respectfully acknowledge the other parent’s wishes without attacking them. Then subtly show why your plan better serves the child’s stability and need for meaningful contact with both parents.

Missouri Application: Judges in the 16th Circuit respond to parents who appear thoughtful and prepared. A well-drafted plan makes your wishes look reasonable rather than selfish.

Musashi – “Do Not Let Your Mind Abide Anywhere”

Musashi would warn against fixation. Clinging too tightly to “I must have 50/50” creates rigidity and weakness.

Strategy: State your wishes clearly and confidently, but remain flexible. Show the court you are willing to consider reasonable input while protecting what matters most for the child.

Missouri Application: This factor rewards maturity. The parent who avoids ego-driven demands and demonstrates adaptability often gains credibility with the judge and GAL.

Lao Tzu – “Be Like Water”

Lao Tzu would approach this factor with softness and flow. Water does not fight the rock — it flows around it.

Strategy: Express your wishes without aggression. Use language that yields where possible (“I support meaningful time with both parents”) while gently guiding toward your proposed plan. Frame everything around the child’s needs.

Missouri Application: Judges notice cooperation versus combativeness. The “water-like” parent who remains calm and child-focused usually earns more ground on this factor.

The Tengu (Tengu Geijutsu Ron) – Transcend Win/Lose

The tengu would remind you there is no true opponent — victory and defeat are illusions created by the mind.

Strategy: Present your wishes from a place of emptiness, free from ego. Focus purely on the child’s best interests rather than “beating” the other parent.

Missouri Application: The parent who transcends “me vs. them” on this factor often gains the court’s trust. Non-duality keeps the focus where it belongs — on the child.

Why Factor #1 Sets the Tone for the Entire Case

How you present your wishes and parenting plan signals to the judge and GAL whether you are reasonable, cooperative, and truly child-focused. The sages agree: the parent who approaches this factor with clarity, flexibility, and strategic insight gains significant early momentum. Over the coming posts, we’ll examine each of the 8 factors through the eyes of these strategy masters — Sun Tzu, Musashi, Sun Bin, Lao Tzu, Takuan, Yagyū, the Tengu, and others — giving you practical tools to make the court see each factor in your favor. If you’re in a contested custody or modification case in Lee’s Summit or Jackson County, bring strategic wisdom to how you frame your wishes and parenting plan. The Law Office of Kirby Minor helps clients articulate strong, child-centered positions while navigating all 8 best-interests factors with clarity and discipline. Call or text 816-888-0632 for a consultation. Let’s make sure the court sees your wishes — and your plan — in the best possible light.

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